


5 Times Banjou Is Oblivious and 1 Where He's Not

by rosybumblebee



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Comedy, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Post-Aogiri Arc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-01
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2019-01-07 14:56:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12235176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosybumblebee/pseuds/rosybumblebee
Summary: Strange things happen, but Banjou always finds a solution.





	5 Times Banjou Is Oblivious and 1 Where He's Not

Coming back to the apartment, Banjou let out a sigh and took off his shoes, slipping on his house slippers and taking off his jacket, placing it on the hanger next to the door. He had gone out with his trio, and while the others had stayed out to go to an arcade, Banjou had decided to go back home, ready to jump into bed. He loved his bed, wearing his pajama’s at 7pm and going to sleep early, sue him.

He turned around, only to be met with a curious, if not frightening, sight. Tsukiyama was sleeping on the couch, but the strange thing was that Kaneki was laying on top of him, his eyes closed and his breathing slow and even.

He widened his eyes and stared at the couple, a dumbfounded expression on his face. He had never seen Kaneki and Tsukiyama less than three feet away from each other, so coming back home and seeing them entangled on a couch, _doing something that looked a little too much like cuddling_ , was pretty unexpected.

But thinking again… that could be a strategy. Yes, definitely. Kaneki would sleep with his mortal enemy to test his loyalty, to make sure the Gourmet would never try to eat him again, not even when he was sleeping. Kaneki probably wasn’t even sleeping: he was surely awake, silently checking if Tsukiyama would do anything suspicious while he was supposedly unconscious. He was so smart. Banjou smirked to himself and walked in the direction of his bedroom, careful not to disturb the evil mastermind that was Kaneki.

 

\---

 

A week later, Banjou was lounging on the couch, zapping through the TV channels in boredom when he heard something akin to a moan, made by a voice that sounded very close to Tsukiyama’s. Whenever he and Kaneki went to spar they always went at it hard, but that day it had sounded different, as if it were more desperate.

Banjou smiled and shook his head. Tsukiyama had probably broken a rule or something and now Kaneki was pounding him hard into the floor, punishing him for whatever he had done. That snake totally deserved it. Banjou didn’t even know why Kaneki kept him around, but then again, he was the leader, and Banjou trusted his decisions.

An hour later, the Gourmet and Kaneki emerged from the basement, both of them covered in spots that looked like bruises and bite marks, which were already half healed. Their clothes and hair were messy, their lips red and a little swollen, and their cheeks were flushed a bright pink.

“Wow Kaneki, you really destroyed him this time, didn’t you?” Banjou asked, raising an eyebrow, and Tsukiyama’s whole face lit up with a mischievous expression. It gave Banjou chills. “Ah oui, he totally did-“ he started, before being interrupted by Kaneki’s hand being slapped over his mouth. “We just got a bit carried away, haha,” the half-ghoul chuckled awkwardly, glaring at Tsukiyama. “W-We’ll just go and take a shower,” he said hurriedly, starting to push Tsukiyama upstairs. Banjou followed them with his gaze and shrugged, going back to watching the TV.

 

\---

 

Kaneki panted, falling on his knees and glancing down at his bleeding abdomen first, and then at the dead bodies around him. The mission had apparently gone well. Tiring, messy and very bloody, but well nonetheless.

He couldn’t wait to get back home, take a nice, long shower, put on a pair of sweatpants, and… well, get back to work. He couldn’t waste much time if he wanted to find Kanou.

He sighed and started to get up, only to be stopped by a pair of hands on his shoulders, pushing him back down. “Oh mon Dieu, are you okay, mon amour? Are you hurt? There’s so much blood…” Tsukiyama asked worriedly, his eyes roaming quickly all over Kaneki’s body, checking for wounds. They were there, but they were already healing.

“It’s not all mine. I’m fine, don’t worry,” Kaneki mumbled, starting to get up again, but Tsukiyama leaned in, both on his hands holding Kaneki’s face tenderly, and pressed a firm kiss on Kaneki’s forehead. “Allons-y, on y va à la maison,” Tsukiyama murmured, picking Kaneki up bridal style and carrying him outside the building.

In all of this, Banjou was staring at them, a thoughtful, confused look on his face. Why would Tsukiyama kiss Kaneki on his forehead like that? Only romantic partners or really close friends did that, and Kaneki and Tsukiyama were neither of those things. The Gourmet hadn’t bitten him, not even when Kaneki was this vulnerable. But maybe…

Of course! He understood everything now. He had kissed Kaneki because he wanted to taste him, even if just a little bit, since he wasn’t allowed to bite him. That dirty bastard, how dare he take advantage of Kaneki like that. He really was the worst person Banjou had ever met. He rolled his eyes in annoyance and followed them outside, ready to get back home.

 

\---

 

They strolled through the calmer streets of Tokyo, voices and people around them. Tsukiyama and Hinami had proposed they went outside to grab a coffee and breathe a bit of fresh air, since most of the time they stayed at the apartment, and they had forcefully dragged Kaneki and Banjou with them. Well, Tsukiyama only wanted Kaneki, but Hinami had also insisted for Banjou to come and of course he had accepted, only out of spite against Tsukiyama.

Going back to Anteiku with Kaneki so suddenly would be a little problematic and they’d probably disturb the peaceful atmosphere, so they had briefly stopped at a Starbucks and walked back outside, warm cups of coffee in their hands.

Banjou’s eyes were roaming around curiously, captured by the shops and huge publicity ads on the tall buildings, and when they moved back to what was directly in front of him, they were met with a strange sight. He had definitely seen some weird things in the last few weeks, but this one was scary, almost as much as the first time he saw those two cuddling on the couch.

Kaneki’s fingers were intertwined with Tsukiyama’s, who held the half-ghoul’s hand tight, but almost… sweetly? It didn’t look like a weird, possessive thing. He blinked and kept staring at their laced hands as he kept thinking about the reason why Kaneki would willingly hold that asshole’s hand. There was no valid reason. Unless… oh. He only got that now. How could he have been so stupid?

Kaneki was holding his hand to make sure Tsukiyama wouldn’t run off and do something reckless. Knowing him, he could see a potential victim and run off to get their “magnifik eyes”, or whatever he would say. As the saying goes, keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Kaneki was truly a genius… Banjou was so proud of him.

 

\---

 

Banjou’s eyes snapped open and he looked at the clock on the nightstand. 2.03 in the morning. He had been woken up by something that had sounded like a pained noise, but it was quiet now. Maybe he had been dreaming a little too vividly?

No. There was that noise again. He quickly got out of bed and put on a shirt, before rushing out of his room? What if Kaneki was having a nightmare? As his shield, he couldn’t leave him be. He had to help him.

He opened the door to Kaneki’s room and exclaimed, “Kaneki!”, but he found that the half-ghoul didn’t look like he was having another nightmare. Instead, he was on the bed, shirtless, with an equally half naked Tsukiyama underneath him, his arms around Kaneki’s neck and the lower half of their bodies covered by the blanket.

“Kaneki? What are you doing? Why is he here?” Banjou asked in confusion. “Ah… we’re playing Twister. The floor was cold so we moved here. And I couldn’t sleep, so I called him. We _definitely_ didn't think we’d wake you up. Tsukiyama was being too loud, haha, weren’t you?” answered Kaneki with a strained smile, looking down at Tsukiyama. “It’s your fault for being so good at… Twister, mon cher,” the other smirked.

“But why are you guys shirtless?” Banjou asked, and Kaneki replied, “…it’s strip Twister. Like strip poker. If you fall, you… take off a piece of clothing.” “Guess we fell a little too many times,” Tsukiyama mumbles, and Kaneki glared down at him. “Hm… okay. Have fun… I guess,” Banjou raised an eyebrow, and Tsukiyama grinned. “Oh, we will.”

Banjou rolled his eyes and walked back to him room, closing the door behind him. He slid back into bed and pulled the covers up to his chin, closing his eyes and falling back asleep a few minutes later.

 

\---

 

The next morning, Banjou was sitting in the kitchen with a cup of coffee in his hand, watching the news on the little TV. Suddenly, he widened his eyes and stared blankly in front of him, a look of horror on his face, and he whispered.

“They weren’t playing Twister.”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! i love the idea of shuu and kaneki being super gay and banjou just doesn't fuckin notice jskfhsk
> 
> my tumblrs: rosybumblebee (main) gourmetbooty (fandom)


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